Between the earth and the deep blue sea there are not many places that can keep a secret anymore. As demonstrated admirably earlier this week by a large jet plane the sea can still do a pretty good job if you choose the right place. On earth your choices are much more limited, but if you wanted to tell someone your darkest secrets our leader the magnificent Kim Jong II would be a pretty good choice.
Long live North Korea. The last bastion of privacy on this planet. Yes, it may be run by a megalomaniac fruitcase with one eye on us and one finger on the button of apocalypse but hey at least they don’t have to watch Big Brother. We know next to nothing about what goes on behind those closed borders. There are no longer many mysteries to life left. It’s inspiring to me that one man, in one really bad suit can manage to keep his own little castle safe from prying eyes all these years.
In this day and age there are no surprises. We know the answers to most questions. We know why tragedies occur even if it is only with the benefit of hindsight. Planes do not just disappear like your remote control. There are no secrets anymore. At the very least some sort of plausible explanation is put forward for even the most astounding occurrences. We find a new fossil; oh it’s the missing link. There’s a load of snow in the summer, oh it’s because of global warming. A plane vanishes overnight. No one knows. It’s amazing. Unexplainable things just don’t seem to happen anymore.
On the Tv, in fictional stories and in films amazing things always happen. It’s part of what makes them interesting. Miracles, crazy coincidences, that sort of thing. Amazing things happen with such frequency in films that you can see the actors visibly struggling to look fazed by the most incredible occurrence. Oh there are aliens trying to kill us all, oh that’s nice. A giant asteroid has been spotted that we didn’t notice before. The retarded janitor is actually a genius.
This just doesn’t happen! If it did people would go bonkers. People call it a miracle when a child survives a crash or some shit football team wins the fa cup. It’s not a miracle it’s fucking lucky. The most amazing thing that has the slightest viable chance of happening to you is to win the lottery. And that is multi million to one chance.
The world is a boring place. We don't even have man made crises such as World Wars or a half decent epidemic to put our lives in peril anymore. Next year will be much like the last. Sure, we’ll worry that the sky will fall on our heads but as Asterix always knew tomorrow never comes. For the most part every day is much like the next. We know everything about everything.
The only place I know very little about is North Korea. Sure, I know that their esteemed leader Kim Jong II has some bad assed styles going on, but I, nor anyone else this side of the great divide really knows what’s going on over there at all. This is an amazing achievement in this day and age. We have been to the moon. Explored every inch of the earth, from the highest mountain to the deepest ocean crevice. We know what underwear celebrities are or are not wearing at every possible opportunity. We know shit all about North Korea. I would love to do a beat stevie there. In this time of open borders and internet enabling access to all, i think its great that there's somewhere that still retains it's secrets. It seems like the depths of the ocean and this little patch of earth are the last bastions of mystery on this planet. Long may mystery reign. Who wants to know everything anyway?
Im not suprised they want to keep him a secret
Posted by: shep | 06/05/2009 at 06:27 PM
nothin about this blog, just wanted to comment on your swine flu, but i'm sure every joke and streets swine flu song reference has been made over and over, so to end this run on sentence, feel better sp you can live on to create the next north korea.
Posted by: bale | 07/10/2009 at 12:58 PM
What I'd like to know, is when it's gonna be possible to get man size Beat Stevie swag!
Posted by: Jezz | 09/01/2009 at 05:56 PM
im with you ted!
http://www.idothisforfun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/hug-you-like-an-animal.jpg
Posted by: J00la | 09/19/2009 at 01:04 PM
Well, we do know from accounts of the refugee's escaping from N. Korea to China that they think China is better and people are eating tree bark. That should tell you something.
Posted by: dina little | 01/03/2010 at 09:52 PM